Miss thirdBorn

First and foremost you might have heard I got mugged outside my house by 2 thieving men! My wallet, phone and laptop was in there;  that laptop thing really got to me, I got up dusted my ass off the ground and ran after those motherfuckers! Yeah crazy but a designer seeing their laptop being stolen is another thing; that calls for extreme stupid measures. otherwise known as temporary insanity! But as you can see I am alive! ha! tough luck. Which is good coz I would have died, and you dont have money for an expensive Alexander McQueen outfit to attend my funeral in! Its the middle of the fucking month everyone is broke! thank me!

Now the reason reason you are seeing that wonderful video is, I was thugged in the dark; there should have been light there! So I ask myself what city or country is in this video, coz frankly its not Kenya!!

But my favourite part is is at mark 0:24 thats where a Kenya Airways booeing is leaving some very bright hangar, the lights there are literally blinding!!! Click here to read the "No landing at JKIA due to power failure"  article on Nation, just so you can laugh. Am sorry if you were inconvenienced by these wonderful (feel free to insert  your favourite insult here) people, but look at that advert doesn't it just warm your pissed off heart? no need to go to the bathroom to throw up.

If I had to do this advert I would have done something 10 minutes long and totally appropriate like this to the corporate image of Kenya Power. I know Im a genius!!  And No! this work of art needs no stupid jingle


Yeah I have forwarded this video to Kenya Power, I know they will thank me forever!

Meanwhile if you are feeling KP is shitting on your face with their stupid prepaid meter, wear these fabulous heels and kick them really hard!!! Thanks Vavygunza!!!

Even the leaves on that tree has turned black with jelousiness!

I was going to jada jada about the mess that our brothers up there have done to our  beautiful magnificent flag, but this is not necessary. The captain of NBA Chicago Bulls Luol Deng, my girls Atong Arjok and ALek Wek just changes everything. South Sudan has suffered unimaginable inhumanity for the past Idontknowhowmany years! And this is huge, and a good thing and indiscribable! am elated and excited for my brothers and sisters up there.

A small piece of advice that you should really take! you know a number of you have been have been living here in Kenya infact very many of you come to think of it, and you have seen how our MPs repeatedly fuck us in the buthole, vote your leaders wisely, but if their advicers are our members of parliament fall down on your knees right now its going to be rough!
Thumbs up! youa re ready to go and good luck you need it!

but let me just throw in the flag issue now that i was at it! wozz this?!



And is this Luol Deng HOOOOOT or is he HOOOOT?!!! one more time! and for those of you who don't know he is the captain of NBA's Chicago Bulls!! Kwani you dont watch K24 he was on the bench with Jeff Koinange last night! NOW YOU KNOW!  I have to stop this CAPs lock thing am starting to sound like Kanye West!

But the main reason for this post is our first lady's exquisite eyebrows!!! truly work of art going on there! these eyebrows should be a subject in primary school. Now get out your eyepencils and sharpeners and get to work bitches!!!

Wendy Kimani is back! who is she? - Hot Secrets

Bitch is bored and at a funeral, and I live in this city - Nairobi Nights

Nokia is overrated - KENVIBEZ

A full 48 hours plus hard on how is that possible on jaegerbombs only? - Wanjohi wa Kigogoine

I was not there for sure -  The Fashion Notebook

Another Nokia freak - A Nairobian's Perspective!

Kenya is just the best, love this blog (NO sarcasm intended here) and she is just called Kenya - Kenya's Style

I got this on my YouTube inbox today and and I dunno why I got it, considering am not even there alot. Obviously Mukami, who I have never  heard of is telling me something very important but, the art and manner in which she is telling it to me, make me feel like a retard.

So I was scratching my head and had no clue as to what to write today. This photo up here is the profile picture of a group I am in. How I got there is truly truly a wonder in itself. The group is

So after the basketball match of friday, me and my girl went to Sailors, and we had a fantastic time! The whole weekend was a blast. Which  = doing nothing the whole weekend eating buggers, kebabs, etc and watching cheesy movies.
I get back home on Monday morning, turn on my laptop and get the full blown bitches want your life shit!

I wanted to blog the wedding of Albert that Monaco dude, who was giving that South African chick a marriage certificate headache. (file this under things you don't give a shit about). We were getting tired of waiting to sign the prologue to the gold digger for dummies guide!! then it happened!! But then I got the full blown bitch on your case shit from some bitch who think she knows me better than  I know myself and that shit really got to me. I was pissed as fuck! My week was looking fucked even before it started. But the Lord works in mysterious ways, just like that time I bought 2 cigarettes and it ended up being the good shit and not cigarettes!!!
So I'm ending my post today with this video from the queen bitch Millie Jackson, she says it better than I would, but just like I wanted to! Thank you darling! You are the soundtrack of my life!

Have I mentioned there that my ex is on my case like Osama on Bush? (I miss G. Bush, America is not fun anymore, we cant laugh at Americans) its a love hate thing, but that is a story for another day!

I leave you with one nice picture of the prince and her SERENE golddigeress Charlene! I did not make that Serene thing up, that is her tittle, the golddigeress is my twisted mind doing acrobatic stunts.


Even I would have shed tears!!! That was a long wait! She has upped the golddiger game! Elin Nordegren back the fuck up! Charlene is in the ring as the new CEO of Golddigger Inc! your ex husband (TigerWoods) is on track ! even though through Japanese! how sad!

Now that is the real shit, this is what I have been telling you about. TALENT at its best. This show sells itself infact I don't really understand why people are making fun of it. HATERZZZ!!! There is a billboard just at my bus stop in Langata opposite Uhuru Gardens that says this is THE BIGGEST GOSPEL SHOW. (are there other smaller ones I am not aware of?) just asking.
And just because I have said where my Bus stops does not mean you have to come and hang around there waiting for me, try it and I will play for you this video in a loop!
This show has inspired me so much, on several occasions I have considered going to a convent, my friend Edna will say this is not the real reason I have considered entering holy-wood! That it is infact has something to do with not getting laid. But let me tell you something Edna, I am saving my victoria for marriage!!!

If you are wondering about victoria I will let you on it, but you have probably heard that mama on I think K24 who talks about how you should take care of your victoria and mombasa raha detoxing, apparently Mombasa raha detoxing is a life changing experience we should all have had at this age, and NO I do not know what this mombasa raha thing is but Im sure you will tell me in a bit.

God has forgiven me for talking about my victoria in the same post as his children above.

See the look on this mama's face, just sums up my sentiments on the whole thing, and no I dunno who she is but I know she is laughing at the ugliness of that bottle, I am not on this alone, I have that look on my face every time I order a Tusker.